On today’s 271st episode of Monday Morning Pep Talk, we’re diving into one of the most crucial yet misunderstood dynamics in high-performance real estate: the relationship between vision and ego. Your vision is the long-term promise you’ve made to yourself - who you want to become, the life you want to live, the impact you want to have. Your ego, on the other hand, is the external driver - rankings, recognition, competition - that fuels your ambition. The challenge? When ego takes over, you can lose sight of your true purpose. When vision lacks that competitive edge, you might struggle to take action. I’ve lived both sides of this battle, from my real estate heart attack in 2008 to rebuilding my business and ultimately redefining success. Today, I’ll share how to strike the right balance, turn ego into fuel rather than a distraction, and ensure that every step you take aligns with your bigger purpose.
This episode is about You vs. You—because in the end, that’s the only battle that really matters.
Before I jump into today’s call, I want to remind you of my professional purpose: to help you, the full-service, full-fee Advisor, optimize your productivity and become the best version of yourself. Why? Because “Happy Advisors Sell More Real Estate.” I do that by teaching you how to handle the challenges and opportunities you face every day. When you can effectively manage the situations that arise daily in your business, you’ll be more productive and live a life that reflects the best version of yourself. My ask is that you listen as if you’re in a one-on-one coaching session with me, either in my office or on a call.
Vision vs. Ego: The Battle of You vs. You
Seventeen years ago, in February 2008, I woke up to the realization that I was in for the financial fight of my life. The adrenaline was pumping, there were tears on my pillow and my mind was racing. I had just had what I now call my “real estate heart attack.” My business, heavily reliant on new construction, had collapsed practically overnight. The 1.5M commissions under contract I had banked on had evaporated in 3 months, and I was staring down a financial abyss with no clear way out. That morning, standing in the house I had built for my family, I realized something profound: the only person who could turn this around was me. It was Me vs. Me.
In that moment, I had to make a choice: Do I get out of the business? Do I look for another career? With job losses mounting nationwide, that wasn’t an option. I had to figure out how to make my real estate career work for me and my family. But the real problem? I didn’t know how.
That morning I scheduled a meeting with a friend and colleague who was having success in the market. At that meeting, I asked a simple but desperate question: "What should I be doing right now? " The answer changed everything: "Work your SOI. Your clients need you". At the time, I had no idea what SOI even meant, but I quickly learned after a meeting with my friend GOOGLE: Sphere of Influence. That revelation was my lifeline. I became obsessed with learning, building relationships, and doing whatever it took to rebuild my career. I stopped worrying about the market, about other brokers, about outside noise. The only competition was Me vs. Me.
The Fine Line Between Vision and Ego
Years later, after fighting my way back, I came to understand something deeper. The real battle wasn’t just Me vs. Me. It was the battle between Vision vs. Ego.
I define Vision as the promises you’ve made to yourself - your long-term purpose, who you want to become, and the life you want to live. Ego, on the other hand, is the external driver that motivates you - the scoreboard, the recognition, the competition.
Ego isn’t inherently bad. In fact, if you want to be an Elite Level Producer (ELP), you need some ego. It’s the fuel that pushes you forward. But ego without vision is a dangerous trap. It’s what drives someone to build a multi-million-dollar business only to feel completely lost a month after selling it. Without vision, success becomes empty.
On the flip side, vision without ego can leave you uninspired, lacking the external push to get up every morning and do the work. The key is balance - understanding the symbiotic relationship between vision and ego and using them both to your advantage.
The Ego Traps: “Will I Celebrate If…?”
Here are some common ego-driven thoughts I’ve seen in our industry:
- I need to be #___ on the leaderboard to feel successful.
- I must be the top advisor in my market before I can focus on other things.
- I have to beat a specific competitor or my year is a failure.
- I need to prove something to someone—family, friends, an old rival.
- I have to keep up with the Joneses.
- I need to show that I can still dominate at my age.
- I have to make a comeback to prove people wrong.
- All my friends from college have “made it.” I need to stay ahead.
- Because of my upbringing, I need to prove I have what it takes.
- I’ll just grind because that’s what I do - I don’t need all this vision stuff.
If these are your primary motivators, a reckoning is coming. At some point, you’ll wake up feeling empty, searching for answers. I know because I’ve lived every one of these thoughts at some point in my career.
The Turning Point: Ego as Fuel for Vision
The moment everything changed for me was when I stopped letting ego drive my actions and instead used it as fuel to meet my vision. I realized that if I stayed patient and played the long game, all the respect and recognition would naturally follow.
The question is: Will you celebrate if you achieve your goal? If the answer is no, then you’re chasing an empty scoreboard. But if your vision aligns with who you truly want to become, then every win will feel meaningful.
The Battle Is You vs. You
When I started coaching, teaching and mentoring others, I mobilized something powerful: The true battle isn’t against the market, the economy, or the competition - I learned to teach - It’s You vs. You. I started to ask others the same questions I had learned to ask myself:
- Are you committed to putting on the blinders and focusing on your progress, or are you distracted by what others are doing?
- Are you willing to take yourself on every single day, or are you looking for excuses?
- Are you surrounding yourself with the right people who push you toward your vision, or are you consumed by comparison and negativity?
The universal law of cause-and-effect states that for every effect, there is a cause. Your thoughts, behaviors, and actions shape the life you live. So, the question becomes: What do you wake up thinking about every morning? If it’s external validation, you’re playing a losing game. But if it’s about becoming the highest version of yourself, then you’re on the right path.
The Commitment to Self-Mastery
When I teach and coach advisors, my mission is to provide The How, that's why I created Take Flight - the strategies, tactics, and mindset shifts to help you win. But the commitment has to come from you. If you don’t commit to making you the competition, you will eventually face your own “real estate heart attack.” It happens to the best of us. The key is being prepared to weather the storm.
The battle is won between your ears. It’s a fight that lasts years, not weeks. But when you make the decision to compete against yourself - to push past your own doubts, limitations, and distractions - your business and your life will transform. Not if, but when.
Lifting Others Along the Way
As you navigate your own journey, remember that others around you are also fighting their battles. It’s awards season in the real estate industry, a time when recognition is given, achievements are celebrated, and rankings are posted. While it's important to celebrate your own growth, it’s equally important to support those who are still working through their challenges. Your experience, your knowledge, and your lessons learned can be a guiding light for someone else. Be the mentor, the encourager, the inspiration - because success isn’t just about winning your battle; it’s about helping others win theirs too.
On that note, something truly special is happening at Jameson Sotheby’s International Realty. On the same week we come together to celebrate our company’s and our advisors' achievements, 50 of our advisors will be starting their journey with Take Flight - the coaching program I created to provide The How for those ready to reach new heights. It’s a powerful reminder that personal and professional growth is a continuous journey, and there’s no better time than now to commit to your next level.
That house I stood in that morning in 2008? I thought I had built it. But looking back, knowing how much I learned during those years, I see the truth: That house built me.
