On this episode, I will present my annual Thanksgiving week MMPT on the topic of GRATITUDE. Yes, being GRATEFUL is a high performance BASIC. It's important for anyone, in any stage of growth to be grateful for where they are in that moment. High achievers measure and are grateful for their growth in the moment (Book Recommendation: The Gap and The Gain by Dan Sullivan) instead of always delaying happiness to a future date. This industry has a way of programming us to only be happy if "we are #1.” Super achievers practice GRATITUDE as a strategy.
A December 12, 2017, article in INC magazine states that in one classic study of 400 super high achievers, those who had at least two biographies written about them due to their positive contributions found that a remarkable 75 percent of them had faced severe difficulties, such as the loss of a parent, spouse, dire poverty, or abuse in childhood. In a 2015 article written in the University of California "Greater Good" periodical states that “Emotionally overcoming a negative event is an important prerequisite for turning adversity into appreciation.” And overcoming that event often requires a lot of time and work, possibly involving a great deal of psychological distress. Still, these studies suggest that after working through a negative event, these high achievers enjoy the benefits of overcoming such trauma. For example, surviving a life-threatening illness can help them appreciate the very gift of being alive at all. Experiencing a serious loss can help them appreciate what they have now.
My questions for you: Why wait for a traumatic experience to express gratitude for what you have in your life? Or, if you are experiencing a traumatic experience or have one in your past, what did it teach you? Are you grateful for what you learned via that experience? Did it teach you to appreciate what you have now?
In January, a dear friend of mine and many of you, Kristine Newell with Premier Sotheby's International Realty, will tell her story from trauma to super achiever in the release of her book "The Habit of Grateful: A handbook for gratitude." In her book, Kristine shares the story of how she overcame her personal trauma using GRATITUDE as her self-medication and how gratitude changed her life. She states "As a female leader, real estate industry expert, mom, friend, wife, and most of all, a student of gratitude, I have learned our greatest desire is to feel appreciated and loved; that we matter. In the boardroom, the kitchen, or on the sidewalk, this is the common thread binding us all." She goes on to say that "Gratitude is a superpower you and I both have, and it can be activated like flipping a switch. It can generate feel-good chemicals. Let’s face it, depression and anxiety are at all-time highs (as are liquor and drug sales). What if a habit of gratitude brought you more joy and less yuck?"
Kristine knew that I had a GRATITUDE strategy and she asked me to contribute some thoughts on the topic. Obviously, I was honored to be a part of it. Here are a couple of questions she asked me:
What tips can you share about gratitude?
I was not born naturally talented. I’ve had to work hard to get where I am today through focused self-development. It became clear to me after watching a 2010 interview with Joe Stumpf and John Assaraf that success “starts between the ears.” It’s a mind game. How we think about things creates a frequency, a vibration, and it’s that frequency that attracts (good or bad) things into one’s life. I’m spiritual by nature, not necessarily religious, and this concept made sense to me. As I learned more about the power of one’s “frequency,” I realized that gratitude and forgiveness are the 2 most powerful forms of conscious habits that can create the highest level of frequency/vibration. Because of this, since 2010, I track consciously and subconsciously “how I feel.” Am I feeling “happy?” If not, I use gratitude to reset immediately. I get grateful for how far I’ve come, what I have in my life, and I get grateful for what’s to come (this is important). I’ve done this for so long, it doesn’t require a conscious effort anymore. It’s in my DNA.
How can we make gratitude a daily habit and why is that crucial?
Like many in our industry, I struggled mightily between 2007 and 2012. The pressure took my breath away and after having my real estate heart attack in February of 2008, I realized that I needed to do things in my life and business differently. I went on a self-development journey to identify those areas of my life and business that needed a major overhaul all while struggling with the fact that my current situation was less than ideal. Bob Proctor, another one of my virtual mentors, described the power of affirmations and the impact they will have on your frequency – there’s that word again. He suggested we start our affirmation with “I Am.” So, I took some of his thoughts and suggestions and created my own affirmation/mantra and it goes like this:
“I am so happy and grateful that money, success, and introductions flow to me in ever increasing quantities from a myriad of different sources and for the betterment of all those involved. My life is perfect. Every day, in every way, I’m getting better and better.”
I’ve said that affirmation to myself 10’s of thousands of times. It starts with 2 powerful words “happy” and “grateful.” I push myself to live those 2 words. Am I perfect at it, NOPE. Maintaining a positive frequency is the toughest part of living. Your brain is doing its job with the negativity, keeping you safe in the status quo. It is a daily, minute by minute battle.
As you know, I coach “happy and grateful” not “production.” The production is the lagging indicator. Happiness is the leading indicator. If you focus on creating happiness, you will follow through on your plans. Producing at a certain level, in a certain way with the right clients, propels that feeling of happiness and gratitude. Hint: If you are unhappy in your business, your mind and body will emit a vibe that says: “I don’t want more of this business.” It’s literally telling the universe, “don’t bring me more clients.” If you are “happy and grateful,” your business expands in ways you never thought possible. Trust me, this is not woo woo, this should be looked at as a strategy.
My challenge for you this week of Thanksgiving is to take some time in deep thought and evaluate yourself in this area. Are you winning the battle between your ears and does your brain have full control?
Updates on Kristine's book will be forthcoming. I highly recommend you bookmark this link and follow her at @kristinewnewell on Instagram.
For those of you traveling this week, travel safely, and to all of you, have a wonderful week with your friends and family.
