For the last five years on the Monday before Thanksgiving, gratitude has been the focus of my #MMPT. Honestly, we should frequent this topic way more than we do.
My virtual coach Eben Pagan brought up something really interesting recently.
He pointed out that research shows that a high percentage of people are motivated to avoid the things that they "don’t want,” and a much smaller percentage of people are motivated by and move towards or attract the things they “do want.”
The majority of people say things like:
"I want to avoid difficult clients."
"I don’t want a bad year. I can’t afford another bad year."
"I want to eliminate all of my debt. I don’t want any more debt."
"I want to avoid toxic relationships and friendships."
"I don’t want any drama.”
All of these are negative thoughts.
That is the dialogue most people have with themselves. It’s just how the brain is wired. It wants to keep you safe. The brain is wired to “fight or flee,” or in this example, to “avoid.”
The point is proven in the most interesting ways. Eben went on to say that there was a study created here in the Midwest that proved that many of the cars that slide off the road during ice storms ended up hitting an object (tree, light post, fence post, etc). What researchers learned through the study is that because the driver’s focus was on the object in an attempt to avoid it, they actually ended up hitting the object. It’s proof that “Your focus becomes your reality.”
So, if we spend our mental energy, focus, and time avoiding difficult clients, bad years, debt, toxic relationships, and drama, we have a better chance of attracting exactly what it is that we don’t want. Make sense? It’s not just my intuition - this is the neuroscience behind human behavior.
You’ve heard the phrase “You become what you think about.”
So, if you want to be that person that “moves towards what you want,” there are specific things that you can do on a daily basis to attract success and fulfillment.
I highly recommend the book “The Code of the Extraordinary Mind” by Vishen Lakhiani. It might just be my favorite book of 2019 and is definitely in my Top 3 of all time. He hits on the power of “gratitude" along with “forgiveness" and “giving" as the 3 most important things that you can focus on if you want to create success and happiness in your life. Grab the book. I recommend that all of you read or reread Chapter 7 during this week of Thanksgiving.
Neuroscience has proven that gratitude, along with forgiveness and giving, is one of the most powerful things you can add to your life if you want to create positive momentum… and move toward those things you want.
If you practice gratitude consistently, you know that you actually start the process of rewiring your brain. It programs your subconscious mind to look for what is good and creates a path for you to trend towards what it is that you want. On top of changing your mindset, it has a multitude of other powerful benefits that include:
- More energy
- More forgiving attitudes
- Less depression
- Less anxiousness
- More feelings of being socially connected
- Better sleep
- Fewer headaches
So how can you fit all of this into a daily ritual?
In the “Code of Extraordinary Mind,” Vishen introduces the “6 Phase Meditation” which includes a gratitude exercise as one of the “6 Phases.” (For more on that, he introduces the concept starting on page 212.) As your coach, I recommend you dive into this meditation technique to move you towards your goals. I know that “Happy Brokers Sell More Real Estate.”
So, as you take some time over the next week to relax and spend time with family and friends, hopefully you’ll have some time to “think.” As you reflect, remember that “success starts between the ears.” It’s not woo woo… it’s strategy to focus on your thoughts. If you are sitting here in late November, feeling stuck and looking for that “one thing” that will move you forward, “Expressing gratitude might just be the missing ingredient.”
Thank you for adding to my life and have a wonderful week!
